I have all the popular social media apps Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat But no true identity, only a profile I desperately need to keep people informed about my personal life so I update my status and post photos of myself as often as possible. If my morning selfie is looking a little basic I’ll add a filter before uploading it. I’ve made over ten thousand posts now. In addition to my social media presence I’m registered on over 12 dating apps, each with a slight personality tweak to attract a variety of different females. I keep a few artistic dick pics on standby so when the time is right I can start sexting a potential soulmate. I keep it half mast, and the angles are never too aggressive. Throughout the day I obsessively cycle through the apps on my phone. I’ve found that once I finish updating the last one I can begin again at the first and find at least one new like or comment. Each notification feeds my fragile ego just enough to leave me hungry for more. I have no real personality so I spend hours manipulating photos of myself to insure my success in the ever growing and competitive social market. When I beef up my muscles or slim down my waistline I make sure not to warp the background. I sometimes see that mistake in other people’s photos and it’s completely amateur. I’ve also found that social media is a great way to pass the time when doing unimportant tasks such as driving. I have a strong desire to be close to others while at the same time completely avoiding social interaction. I’d rather not be put in uncomfortable situations with fans that desire my attention. With an ever growing social media empire I have spent months crafting my image as a celebrity and in the process I’ve become unattainable. I’d like to keep it that way. Because I’ve crafted the perfect online persona I often find that real life interactions can never live up to their digital equivalents. Fortunately, the constant stream of distractions helps prevent any possibility of self-reflection. I don’t know if this is my fault or not, but I don’t care enough to think about it. Someone once told me what I do is empty. That I live in an egotistical bubble outside of reality. They said one day that bubble would pop and then I’d be left with nothing no real friends no real life I would just be empty *CELL PHONE NOTIFICATION* Then I realized that person only had a 100 Twitter followers so I laughed and told them to fuck off.